These days

I hardly sleep. My insomnia is killing me. There so much on the inside I want to spill out. I'll just share a few things.

I haven't had contact with my girl very much these past few days. I'm a clingy person. I put my all in her, and when I can't have conversation with her, I get majorly upset. Not angry, more of a depressed feeling. Which shouldn't happen. I feel bad for being a pest, and texting her alot. But I never get tired of letting her know how much I love her. I just want to tell her good morning and good night. Everything in between has been gone for a few days. I'm confused right now to wonder if she even cares, or she's just busy. Last night I stayed up until 5 AM wanting her to wake up in the middle of the night and call me for comfort or wondering what she's thinking about. Or even just imagining how beautiful she looks at that very moment. And then I break down and cry because I'm selfish and don't get my way. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be... but I am. I feel so lonely and sick to my stomach. Before she left, I kept myself up for 4 nights worrying to death that something would happen in Dunlap that would make us grow further apart. If I could fix it. This morning my Step Mom came in and told me that we could go that way sometime this week. I told her I didn't want to. I was afraid to bother her. I understand that she's spending time with her family, I have absolutely no problem with that. I just want her to check in every once in a while and tell me about her day or ask me about mine.

Friends.

Everyone blogs about how they found out who their true friends were. Well this blog is a bit different. I have recently realized that I haven't been the true friend. I feel so urged to talk to my long time friends and apologize for leaving them out to dry. Something Tara said the other day made me realize, no matter how much I don't want to accept it, I need friends. All of them. How I will talk to them, I don't know. I just need to do it before it's too late.

Things that I've realized.

That I waited 17 years to find the right girl and it took me like a week to realize that she was right there. I realized I have been lazy and looked in the placed where its most possible for me to get let down over and over again. It feels good to finally be cared about and have mutual feelings with another person.

Another thing I've realized is that all these years, I could've lived with my dad and been extremely happy instead of living in a place where I was forced to be someone I'm not and treated like udder shit.

I'll continue doing this blog

but I am going to add some of my personal thoughts in as well as my critiquing. Thanks.

Shutter Island

It's 1954, and up-and-coming U.S. marshal Teddy Daniels is assigned to investigate the disappearance of a patient from Boston's Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital. He's been pushing for an assignment on the island for personal reasons, but before long he wonders whether he hasn't been brought there as part of a twisted plot by hospital doctors whose radical treatments range from unethical to illegal to downright sinister. Teddy's shrewd investigating skills soon provide a promising lead, but the hospital refuses him access to records he suspects would break the case wide open. As a hurricane cuts off communication with the mainland, more dangerous criminals "escape" in the confusion, and the puzzling, improbable clues multiply, Teddy begins to doubt everything - his memory, his partner, even his own sanity. 
- IMDB


Wow. I don't think I can ask for a better movie to watch on the big screen. The movie left me just sitting in awe from the first second it came on. Every scene in the movie came together and left no loose ends. The biggest plus for me was the script provided for these 5 star actors to work with. By the time half the movie is over, I usually guess the twist, but in this one my jaw was on the floor and me beating my head saying "HOW DID I NOT GUESS THIS?" After the mishap with "The Box" I was timid on seeing any psychological thrillers for the next 5 years, but this has renewed my interest in movies. 

Extract

Joel, the owner of an extract manufacturing plant, constantly finds himself in precarious situations that steadily worsen by the minute. First, his soon-to-be floor manager acquires a serious injury in a machine malfunctioning accident that subsequently endangers the wellbeing of his company. Second, his personal life doesn't fair much better when he takes the advice of his bartending friend Dean during a drug-induced brainstorming session on how to test his wife's faithfulness. Finally, compounding these catastrophes is new employee Cindy, who happens to be a scam artist intent on milking the company for all its worth. Now, Joel must attempt to piece his company and his marriage back together all while trying to figure out what he's really after in life.
- IMDB


Quirky comedy starring the sexy Mila Kunis, what's not to like? Well they didn't really introduce the characters very well so I was sort of lost through half the movie but by the time it picked up I got a few laughs. I feel like the movie never really got anywhere. It basically just introduced a problem and then it ended. Then when they were in the house I kept seeing this huge black thing appear from the ceiling. It was the boom mic! Really guys? That's like 3rd grade. But I guess it was good seeing Jason Bateman in something other than Nickelodeon. Either way the storyline kinda failed. It was merely okay. The comedy wasn't good enough to outweigh the lack in a good plot and characters. Props to David Koeschner and Gene Simmons.

SLC Punk!

SLC Punk: Mocumentary/Comedy

Synopsis: Two punks live in Salt Lake City. The film covers their all-day routine. The realism of the character-narrated movie may be discussed. One of the punks gets ill, stays in hospital for three weeks, comes out again. Three parties are covered and one concert including a fight between punks, rednecks and others.
- IMDB




This movie exceeded my expectations. I usually write anything with Matthew Lillard off because of his atrocious performances in Scooby Doo and Without a Paddle which were both utter SHIT. SLC Punk! gave me a glimpse of the true side of Anarchy Punk in the 1980's. So much that it almost made me want to just quit being a normal kid and recreate the punk scene around here. The movie all around looked like fun to make. The party scenes were funny as hell. And the fights got me off my feet. Also Sean(Sawa), made me laugh out loud so hard that the water I was drinking went all over my clothes. "You're not God, you're Bob!" hahaha. I did find certain parts of the movie were just pointless crap that had nothing to do with anything. Maybe that was supposed to be funny. I don't know.
Anyways, I recommend this movie.